TODAY's THOUGHT
27.10.2014
Sweetness
Sweetness is a virtue that searches with
patience for the good in every
person and situation.
Being Impressed By Others
To keep our self esteem intact, we need to make
sure that we do not have an impressionable
intellect. Being impressed by people, in itself,
is not bad, but we can fall into the tendency of
staying trapped in the superfluous (excessive
and unnecessary) and in appearances. What
impresses us influences us and even moulds our
awareness at that moment. We lose the ability to
create our thoughts and feelings and these are
influenced by the impression that we have
allowed the other person to leave on us.
Sometimes the impression is such that we
completely give ourselves to it. We give up our
power to the other, and we allow them to
dominate our emotional world. The results of
allowing oneself to be impressed are varied and
on different levels. For example, when we are
impressed by the other's position; it is fine to
respect the authority and the position of the
other, but when we allow their position to
impress us, our ability to relate to the person
in a smooth way is blocked. This can make it
difficult for us to be the authority in our own
life. Another example is when we are impressed
by the achievements of the other and put them on
a pedestal. We compare ourselves with him or her
and have weak thoughts of ourselves, such as
that we are not as good or effective as them, or
we might feel jealousy or guilt. All of this
acts as an obstacle on the path towards our own
achievement. It is good to recognise and
appreciate the achievements and skills of
others, but when we allow them to impress us, in
some way, we submit ourselves to their influence
and we weaken our self-esteem and our respect
towards ourselves. Without realizing, we use the
other to fill a gap that we feel in ourselves.
This will not always work. It will not
strengthen us; rather it will create a
dependency and dependencies weaken us.
Soul Sustenance
The Negative Shade Of Respect in Relationships
(Cont.)
In yesterday's message, we had looked at the
incorrect and negative side of respect (the
energy of fear) in relationships. Today we look
at this kind of relationship from that person's
perspective from whom respect is demanded. When
the boss or the parent or the spouse (please
refer to yesterday's message) tries to induce
respect inside you for him or her, in return you
fear him or her, most of the time thinking it is
respect. But, at that point, you need to
remember it is impossible to give respect to
another if we, at the back of our own minds,
fear them. If you are scared of someone or
something, it means there is an absence of self
-respect, there is a lack of a true realization
of your own value, your specialties, your skills
and the virtues and powers that you possess. And
if you do not respect yourself, you cannot truly
respect another. It is only when you are
firmly established in your own self-respect that
you have no fear of others and are then capable
of giving genuine respect to others. Sometimes
we are not comfortable with being seen as
fearful, because our image will take a beating,
so we try to avoid admitting we fear someone by
saying we respect them, but internally we are in
awe of that person and being in awe is not
respecting him or her.
Many a times, two prominent people e.g. two
actors or politicians or sportsmen are not on
good terms. They accuse and bring down each
other publicly and are known enemies in the
press. While they do that, they also carry a
subtle fear of each other, a fear that the other
will outperform them; the other will be more
popular, the other will be more powerful etc.
This normally happens because of a lack of
self-respect. They both will probably hide that
and will pretend that they are confident and
established in their self-respect. But if their
self-respect were genuine, they would not be
scared of each other, and they would have the
courage and the patience to talk and work with
each other and listen to and offer the hand of
friendship to each other, whom they perceive to
be an enemy. But when they don't have the
strength of their own self-respect and when they
are unaware of their lack of self-respect,
subtle fear for the other creeps in, which they
don't realize and if they realize, they do not
admit the same. And that's why the
restoration of self-respect is only possible
when the ego is recognized and no longer
nourished. Because, fear always comes from the
ego and ego is nothing but an excessive
attachment to one's false image.
Message for the day
To
receive respect from others comes more with
responsibility than as a right.
Projection:
The one who gets respect is the one who becomes
worthy of it rather than the one who just
expects it. True respect comes from how well a
task is done rather than what is done. The more
one's speciality is expressed, the more one
becomes worthy of respect.
Solution:
When I go on giving my best in whatever is
expected of me, I will start receiving respect
from those around me. I will then never expect
from others but will naturally be able to give
respect to all. This further makes me earn their
love and regard.
Strong
Foundation
When my expectations for a task or another
person are unfulfilled, I sometimes attribute it
to my weaknesses or unworthiness. I may accept
the disappointment and even forget the incident
but sub-consciously allow it to hamper my
self-respect. Ambitions or relationships are not
appendages of my identity. They are vital in
shaping my personality and taking me ahead,
however I need to be prudent in not permitting
them to distort how I see myself. Only my God
knows me precisely for what I am and what I will
be. With this faith and confidence, let me see
every experience as a brick thrown towards me to
build a strong foundation for my future.