Brahma Kumaris

06.12.15 Disagreeing Agreeably When someone brings their opinions and beliefs to a conversation, armed and ready for battle, it's easy to disarm them. All you have to say is, "That's an interesting way to see it. Not sure I agree, but I can see what you mean." You can do this without anxiety because you're genuinely seeking to understand the other person's point of view. To be disciplined is to get the cooperation of all. When I am disciplined and use my time and energy well towards an aim, I find that people cooperate too. If I am not consistently disciplined, people too move me away from my aim. If I want cooperation from others for anything, I need to first focus on setting myself on track in the right way. Today I will check and see if I am using all my resources in the right way. I will first set my routine right. I will ensure that I am doing all that I have to do, in a disciplined way. This will help me get the cooperation of others too, as they would have respect for me and my routine. The Negative Shade Of Respect In Relationships (Part 1) Many a times in offices, we find the dominating boss who wants everyone in the office to fear him or her. The boss may not necessarily be a person with a negative personality, but this desire exists inside the boss because he or she holds a negative belief that people fearing him is the same as respecting him and respect is something that any boss would naturally yearn for. This can happen in homes also, with a dominating father or a dominating mother doing the same with the other members of the family. The main reason why this happens is because the boss or the father or the mother is normally lacking in self-respect, although he or she is unaware of it. Due to this, he or she, without realizing again, is looking for it from others and in fact over a period of time, as the need builds up or increases, he or she will start demanding the same from others, which takes a form of the negative energy of fear in the relationship. The boss or the father or the mother starts feeling that the sign that he or she is successful in achieving in getting the respect he or she wants, would be the other fearing him or her. Simply getting someone's attention or the other being in awe of him or her or the other being under his or her negative influence which are all subtle forms of fear is then mistaken for being respected, and if he or she does not receive respect in this incorrect manner, he or she will even try and bring about the creation of respect in the other and try and pull it from the other using various methods which are violent in a subtle way, harming the relationship in a big way. In tomorrow's message, we shall look at this type of relationship from the other's i.e. the employee's perspective or the perspective of the other people in the family in the case of the father or mother. Soul Sustenance The Relationship Between Virtues And Vices When we are internally strong, our nature characteristics and skills are reflected, from inside us to the outside, to everyone we interact in, in the form of virtues. If we are internally weak, those same traits emerge and radiate as vices. Vices are just qualities or virtues that have lost their focus and strength. For e.g. if we take the quality of love - when a strong soul radiates love, it is unlimited and without any conditions. Such a soul respects and has good wishes for everything and everyone and under all circumstances, irrespective of whether love and respect is coming from the other side or not. When a weak soul radiates love, he/she tends to restrict the love to limits e.g. the love would vary from person to person and from situation to situation. In a sense, if spiritual might (strength) and spiritual light (understanding or knowledge) are taken away from the virtues, they get transformed into the six vices, which make us spiritually unhealthy or weak: Ego - developing an image of the self that is false, temporary or imaginary. Greed - finding short term fulfillment by acquiring material goods, a role in society or money or through the physical senses – eyes, tongue, ears, etc. Attachment - finding security by developing a feeling of possessiveness over loved ones and material objects. Lust - using excessive satisfaction through the senses as a means of fulfillment. Anger - the feeling of hatred and revenge when any of the other vices are threatened or being taken away from us. Laziness - becoming inactive on a spiritual, physical or mental level. Message for the day Become like a lotus flower that spreads its beauty even while being in the mud. Checking: Check if you are having thoughts like, "this atmosphere is not right for me... or I need to go to a better place..." If there are any such thoughts, it means you are trying to run away which is not the right solution. Practice: Each day practice telling yourself, "like the lotus flower which remains beautiful even in muddy water, I too can be the best wherever I am." When you practice this you will not run away from things, but will be able to put in your best.