Brahma Kumaris

31.10.15 Truly and Permanently Happy The secret to life's purpose is to be happy. In order to be truly and permanently happy, we have to fulfil our best intentions and act on them right away ... even if that means we start by just giving good thoughts to them. When we hold on to emotional hurt and let it linger we become so wrapped up in it that we can't enjoy the present. To move beyond the hurt we need to forget it. But sometimes the harder we try to 'forget', the more we end up focusing on it. To forget the hurt we have to forgive. This doesn't mean rationalising the hurt, but learning from it and finding room in our heart to release the hurt feelings and forgive the one who hurt us. The Role Play Of Thoughts In Relationships (Part 3) Parent-child relationships are the foundation of our complete life. The earliest habits that children acquire in their lives are from their parents. Very often parents try and impose positive habits on their children. A very common trend that we see nowadays where parents will scold their child for common negative actions like getting angry, for lying to them, for watching inappropriate stuff on different mediums of technology like television and the internet or for getting involved in relationships with the opposite gender at a young age. Very commonly parents are not satisfied with the change brought about by children by following the rules that they have set for them, causing parent-child relationships to get strained. Why is it that inspite of children knowing that parents are concerned for them, do not pay heed to their instructions and continue with the negative habits? A more powerful medium than words, which reaches children on a physical level, is the personality radiation of the parents which works on children and reaches them faster than and much before the words do. Parents dictate the change but don't be the change i.e. similar habits of lust, anger, ego, greed, etc. exist inside them which keep travelling to the children on a subtle energy level and impacting (influencing) their minds negatively much sooner than positive words in the form of instructions, leaving the words as good as ineffective. Also considering another common relationship that children have, the one with their school teachers; many investigations confirm that teachers' expectations, whether negative or positive, form one of the most influential factors in the academic performance of their students. If teachers expect good results from their students and have complete faith and confidence that they will succeed, their performance will be much closer to their real capacity than if they are expecting poor results. Very often in schools, the teachers' words regarding the performance of the children are not a direct reflection of their thoughts i.e. words are full of faith and hope in the students' success but thoughts are lacking in optimism with regards to the same. Negative thoughts of fear of probable failure of the children, in the minds of teachers, inspite of positive words of encouragement, negatively impact impressionable minds of children leading to their poor show in school exams. Soul Sustenance Self Conversations And Their Significance A very important subtle activity that we all indulge in for a lot of time in the day is having conversations with the self, sometimes consciously and a large number of times without even being conscious of it. We need to be extremely careful about what the quality of our conversations are because self conversations very strongly influence our perception i.e. the way we see ourselves, others, situations as well as our personalities and also mould them. If channeled properly, they can be constructive i.e. ones that empower the self; if not, they can be destructive i.e. ones that bring the self down or weaken it in some way or the other. They possess immense potential, both positive and negative, if we want we can use them to liberate us or they can even limit us. We can judge, criticize and threaten ourselves or praise and encourage the self in a positive way. It's important to create thoughts of acceptance, respect and approval for ourselves, even if situations don't go the way we desire or expect. Such positive conversations help rise above the dependence on what how people see us and what they think and talk about us, making the self extremely powerful. Positive self conversations are not fantasies or disconnecting from reality and a few minutes given to the activity do a lot of benefit and no harm at all. They can be done by detaching oneself from actions when we have an emerged conversation and our complete focus is on the conversation and we do nothing else at that time or whilst being involved in actions. Some actions like going on a drive, cooking, having a meal or simply taking a walk or going on a jog allow self-conversations to take place alongside. At these times we give less mental energy or attention to the conversations i.e. we can have a merged conversation so that the respective action is not affected adversely in any way. We can choose how much mental energy to give to the activity, depending on the karma alongside. Message for the day The one who is constantly flying with zeal and enthusiasm brings progress in others too. Expression: Whenever problems come my way, I tend to feel heavy with waste and negative thoughts. At that time I am not able to feel free and light. When there is heaviness in my mind, I can't move forward with enthusiasm and thereby find it difficult to contribute for others' progress too. Experience: Whatever the circumstances I am faced with, I need to make special effort not to reduce my enthusiasm in any way. The more I am able to be enthusiastic, the more I am able to contribute to the progress of others too along with my own progress.