Brahma Kumaris

30.12.15 Manage Stress Manage your stress by: · delegating · planning without having unrealistic expectations · giving yourself "me time" to relax · allowing space for life to just happen Taking Charge of Your Responses in Close Relationships In relationships, sometimes positive emotions are generated and sometimes negative. On the one hand, joy, love and happiness is generated on being with them; but then attachment, dependency and expectations are also generated. In such situations, you are more focused on others and are always looking at the other person's behavior, you stop seeing yourself and being aware of your reactions and taking the responsibility for the responses that you create. You get frustrated when the other person does not meet your expectations. As you depend on them, if they don't act as you would like, if they don't reach home or call you at the time you would like; all this frustrates you. You radiate this energy to the other: "they are not doing what they should be doing" and so you feel frustrated and discontented. All the while that you hold the other one responsible for your frustration, you are not in charge of your own reactions, because you have given power to the other to dominate your emotional world. It is there that you lose your freedom. You lose your freedom because you give to the other, in the name of love, power over your own moods. You allow the other's energy to enter your inner world and cause inside you frustration, bad moods, irritation, sorrow and a mental and emotional dependence where you are constantly thinking about where they are, what they have to do, what they have to say, where they have to go, and all this consumes a lot of your mental energy. Wanting to control the other and the frustration that it brings with it uses up a lot of emotional energy. Maintaining Your Self Esteem In Relationships When a person is in love with another human, the marvelous thing about being in love is that it is a totally positive projection. There is a person who projects on to you all that is positive: you are marvelous, you are unique, you are indispensable, you are a treasure. That positive projection generates a euphoric state, of bliss, of well being, whereby you are flying. You feel loved, cared for, needed and valued. That positive projection lasts for a time until, with the dependencies and expectations, the negative projection begins. "You should have called me, you should have told me, you should have come at this time, you should be more like this, you should be less like that, you should have done this or that." With these expectations, demands and dependencies, that positive projection and flying state disappear.The other has started interfering in your personal space and the harmony that was there previously is lost. One needs to learn to have a positive vision of oneself. You are marvelous, you are unique; don't depend on them telling you so. This does not mean you need to feed your ego, but that you need to make the most positive emerge from within you. Resort to all your creative, positive, spiritual capacity, so that you do not depend on others having to project positive things onto you in order to feel good. On feeling good in an independent and autonomous way, you will be able to share with others peace, love and positivism. You won't be in the state of a victim but will be true rulers and controllers of your own life with solid self-esteem. Soul Sustenance Becoming Responsible For My Destiny (Part 2) Factors like any particular person, a group of people, the government, nature, even God, etc. cannot be held responsible for what has happened t0 me in my life, up to this moment. It is my and my responsibility alone. Equally, what my future holds depends on me to a very large extent. Rather, whatever I choose to do at this moment is already creating my destiny for tomorrow. I shouldn't forget that the only real time I have for creating my future is the present, now. Karma teaches me that at every step, I am the creator of my own little world, the creator of my future circumstances. I also am the creator of the environment immediately around me. On a bigger level I am a co-creator or partner, together with God, of a positive future of the world, of the world of tomorrow, of the world of peace, love and happiness. So my responsibility and my ability to influence the future is not restricted to my life alone. That I can create the future of my choice - of love, peace and happiness, for myself and others, can appear as unreasonable optimism. It's just being realistic. What I create is what is going to happen. If I choose to transmit love and peace in my interactions with others today, I create relationships, in the present and for the future, based on those qualities. Message for the day Set your mind on the seat of stability and you will never become upset. Expression: In all that you do throughout the day, check if you are able to stabilise your mind wherever and in whatever thought you want at the right moment. If you are not able to you will find yourself getting upset. Experience: Each morning create a positive thought for yourself. For example, tell yourself "I am the one who is in control of my mind and I can set it the way I want to." Now practice focusing on this one thought. Stabilise in this thought for sometime.